Someone Will Always Take More

Whether it is personally or professionally, someone will always take more. There is rarely ever an end… except of course the big end {gulp}.

  • On your dating anniversary, people want to know when you are getting married. When you are married, people want to know when you are having kids (when you have kids, I am not sure what they ask but I assume there is something).
  • When you give a service or product away for free, people always want to know what else they can get for free or when you are giving that item away again for free.
  • When you host an event for 85 people each month, people want to know why not have 100.
  • When you say you are running a half marathon, they ask if you will ever do a full marathon.
  • When you donate $50 to a charity, there WILL be another call, email or letter thanking you for your donation but asking for more.

So what do you do? How do you quiet the voices and the insecurities that you are not doing enough?

  1. Focus on what you have and what you have done – I heard a woman on the Today Show talking about a book she wrote. She lost all of her life savings in the Bernie Madolf scandal. It stuck in my head that she says she didn’t focus on all she lost but she focuses each day on what she has. Sometimes that meant focusing on the smallest things like being able to drink tea out of her favorite mug each morning.
  2. Remind yourself why you do what you do and what you stand for – Lines can get blurred when you are busy doing all the things you are doing and giving away your time money, expertise, friendship etc. Of course you want to make everyone happy, but you have to take care of yourself first. Or as Christopher S. Penn says, pay yourself first. My company, that pays me, is in the business of making money. If there is a venture we are going to be a part of, the goal should be to make more money for my business, so that they can inturn continue to pay me.
  3. Reward yourself and don’t leave reward up to other people – Take control of your own emotions and take the time to reward yourself. It doesn’t have to be anything special but pat yourself on the back for what you feel you contributed. That could mean just sit and reflect on how your actions helped another person, go get a Boston Shake at Red’s and call that dinner, turn off the phone and computer for a night and have a night in – whatever it take to let you reflect on your efforts.
  4. Write it down, reflect later – I am a busy person. Sometimes (this week included) I get overwhelmed. Know what? I have ALWAYS been a busy person. The first page of my Day Planner is a page from my Day Planner my senior year of high school. The thing is packed! Every day lacrosse practice or games, afterschool events, friend’s parties, work at the ice cream store etc. Every day is full from wake until sleep. My mom also forwarded me an email I sent her from college and it is a frantic description of all the things I had going on that week like tests, papers, work (upgraded to a coffee shop for college), events and meetings. When you are in the frantic-ness, you are caught in the moment but you will get out and look back and either learn something from your reflection or it will at least make you laugh.
  5. Give to someone else – Sometimes we give to people or organizations because we have to, or feel like we have to. Perhaps if you learned something new, or a better way to do something – pass it on to someone else that could use that advice, trick, tip or product.
  6. When in doubt and you feel like the world is trying to keep you down or take all you have to give with no just reward – listen to Matthew Wilder’s – Break My Stride. THAT will definitely put pep back in your step.

Feel better? I know and you know that we all are doing a lot for lots of different things. It isn’t bad to let yourself take credit for all the things you do.

Not to end this abruptly, but I have had a very long, stressful and busy week so I am going to go on a date with my husband to see the ballet – because I deserve it!

4 Replies to “Someone Will Always Take More”

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