The Big Three on Relationship Advice

relationship adviceBeing all married up, I am certified to give relationship advice… aren’t I? That is what a lot of people think. Even people I just met will ask me for relationship advice. I don’t mind it, I actually kind of like it. I like people and I like hearing about people’s lives, so it is cool.

Each relationship has it’s own cast of characters, setting, introduction, intricacies and story but in my opinion, when you are looking deep into your relationship to determine if it is going to work – you have a lot in common with a lot of other people. In that inspection, I see a lot of similarities from ‘troubled’ relationship to relationship. I have seen it first hand, second hand and heard it in stories from people I don’t even know.

So as relationship advice goes, I would say these are the big three I dole out:

  1. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t – When two people get together, they bring two different histories and personalities together. Too often, one party molds into what they think the other person wants and in-turn they lose a bit of themselves. Acting, after awhile, gets exhausting. Be yourself, hold on to the things you like to do and that will will attract the right person.
  2. Don’t wait for the other person to change – On the reflection on the last point, be fair and don’t wait for your partner to change. It isn’t fair for you to expect them to change for you. You have to love someone for who they are and not what you think they can be or who you want them to be.
  3. Don’t be stupid – Listen to your gut or your heart – if something doesn’t feel right, it might not be right. Before you read their texts, emails, follow them after work, hire a PI – STOP! If something is making you feel that icky, you have a reason to feel that way. There is a good chance you are right or you may just be with someone you won’t ever trust and that probably won’t work very well either.

Those are the big three I see the most out in the relationship jungle. If you are there, know millions have been before you and made it to the other side. Those are also places I have been in myself. If you want to hear more about my stories, buy me a glass of wine and I might tell you someday.

I also know that with the end of many relationships, you feel like that is it… and you ruined it by not trying enough, being patient enough, pretty enough etc. etc. That isn’t true and in-time you will recognize that you did the right thing and when you are in the right place you will look back on this relationship as a teaching moment.

I think every single relationship we have (no matter how horrible) teaches us something, even if it is just showing us what we do not want.

Oh and no, I do not think I am some type of relationship expert. I DO think I want people to be happy with themselves and their relationships. Sometimes it takes the advice of a friend, a family member or a complete stranger to let you know it is going to be ok.

Photo credit: dev null

And if you are upset this post isn’t about Brody, here is a picture of him yesterday with a big old grin on his face!

If I Ruled the World – Bump Sign Edition

bump sign Richter scaleIf I ruled the world I would make a mandatory measurement scale for bumps in the road and the designated number would have to be posted on the bump sign.

What a good idea right?
Think about it… it goes like this:

Scenario 1 – you see a bump sign, slow down, look for the bump and after half a mile you realize you must have missed said bump and you feel a little dumb.

Scenario 2 – you see the bump sign and proceed semi-cautiously until BAM BAM!! You bottom out your car, your dog flies off his seat and your coffee spills all over the place and AGAIN you feel a little dumb.

Help a driver out – let us know what we are in for!
Thanks! Vote for Amanda – Future Ruler of the World!

Photo credit: Greg Timm

Reflections from my 10,000th Tweet

I am on Twitter (@amanda_pants). Yesterday I sent out my 10,000th Tweet.

amanda_pants 10000th tweet

That is no major accomplishment or anything. I know lots of people who have tweeted much more than I have. Much like birthdays though, I found coming up on this number I was very reflective on Twitter itself, how my life has changed being a social media nerd and about some of the amazing people I have met on this cyber-journey.

And in case you have not figured this out on your own yet – I know, I think way too much.

So coming up on this Twitter milestone, I started thinking about why I joined Twitter and the people I met in the beginning. In this post I am going to quickly tell you my story and then I asked a handful of other people that influenced me on their thoughts on their early days of Twitter.

Why I signed up for Twitter

I signed up for Twitter in April of 2008. At the time of me writing this I have 3,358 people subscribed to my Twitter feed. When I joined I had just left my job at the radio station and was starting at my new job at Hall. I was sad to leave all my good friends at the station but I was really into nerdy stuff like web design, email marketing and helping people promote themselves on things like MySpace (oh yea, I said it). I knew the internet was what I wanted to be working with and the station just did not have the opportunities available that I needed to grow.

I was told to join Twitter by my friend and recent ex-coworker, Jeff Parsons. I thought, if nothing else, it would be a good way to geek out with Jeff online now that we wouldn’t be in the same office.

In the beginning…

When I started I had no idea what I was going to use this for (sort of like this blog). My original username was amnewell22. That changed after I realized a) this was getting kind of big b) trying to tell people in person my username was challenging and c) an impending marriage (and last name change) was going to make it make no sense.

I slowly started to connect with people in my area and some people that were just saying some interesting things. I did not know then, that some of those relationships I made then were going to change the next few years of my life.

Since joining and being active(ish) on Twitter I have met some amazing people. Some from right here in town that I don’t know if I would have met without the cyber-introduction and others from all over the world. The people I have met have asked me to come to invite-only conferences, to write for them, to share ideas with them or just to meet for a drink to talk about an opportunity.

What I use it for

I use Twitter to hear other people’s ideas, to laugh, as my primary news source, to connect with new people and get to know some people better. I use it to share my thoughts, what I am working on, events I have coming up and ideas I may have.

It is fun and it is easy to do. I can go days without tweeting and some days I tweet 20 times a day. It doesn’t matter. It is a stream of information. If I dip my toe in the stream, I collect some information and talk to some people. If I don’t, no harm – no foul.

People that influenced me in my early Twitter days

I asked some of my early Twitter friends who got them to join Twitter and to share someone that influenced them early on in their Twitter days.

I of course have to start with Jeff Parsons, morning show DJ (and a bunch of other things) for WJBQ who was the one who got me to sign up for Twitter. He also was kind enough to have me as a guest on his podcast ‘Word on the Tweet’ in those early Twitter days.

Jeff Parsons | @jeffparsons | Joined Twitter December ’07 | 1,848 Followers

Joined via @LeoLaporte and TWiT podcast and @ebertchicago‘s tweets influenced me the most. Twitter is his new voice and he tweets brilliance

Next I asked DJ Waldow, the Director of Community for Blue Sky Factory. Before his career at BSF, I remember catching up with DJ around a bunch of topics, including when he was selling his house on Twitter. DJ is a great example of someone using a new tool like Twitter to just extend their personality – in his case his helpful and social traits excel in this space.

DJ Waldow | @djwaldow | Joined Twitter March ’08 | 8,425 Followers

Who got me to join? Dylan Boyd (@dtboyd).
As you may be able to interpret from my first tweet on 3/27/08, I joined reluctantly.

I was VERY skeptical at first. VERY. Dylan certainly influenced me to join. I’ll never forget also getting an @ reply from Guy Kawasaki shortly after I joined. I was thrilled, shocked, amazed, humbled…and HOOKED from that point forward.

I also asked Rich Brooks, President of flyte new media. I had known of Rich for awhile. I really admired the work they were doing over at flyte. From the beginning of my Twitter experience you can always count on Rich for some good tips on internet marketing, a joke or a zombie reference.

Rich Brooks | @therichbrooks | Joined Twitter Nov ’07 | 7,209 Followers

Who got me into Twitter? Blogworld in general, Dave Taylor specifically. However, I saw how stupid it was and stopped using it almost immediately.
Six months later Des Walsh from Australia told me how he helped broker a business deal between someone in Texas and someone in China, and I realized I had missed something, so I went back and gave it another try.

I don’t know who “influenced” me per se, but besides the people already mentioned, Twitter for me got really interesting when I started talking to local people
who I might not have otherwise met.
Keith Luke, Chrystie, Jaica, Justin Ellis and you all come to mind.

So in my early Twitter days I met all these cool people and we were getting really nerdy-excited about all these things we could do online. It was helping us find reviews, new businesses, drive traffic to our websites and more. There was even a little company trying to take all these principles and make them standard and teaching other companies how to do the same. That little company was Hubspot. Hubspot CEO, Brian Halligan, was a huge influencer for me.

Brian Halligan | @bhalligan | Joined Twitter June ’08 | 8,763 Followers

I remember exactly who got me into Twitter — it was @ellieeille. At the time, she was one of our junior marketers and is now working in our product development department. I remember it well because she came to my desk and said something to the effect of “HubSpot and you specifically need to get into this Twitter thing, its gonna be huge.” I said, “Cool, can you show me.” Ellie showed me her latest tweet and it said, “my feet hurt from walking to work in my new shoes.” My response, “Twitter is BS.”
Two weeks later, I was hooked! ( – :

Not bad! So here is to another 10,000 tweets and hundreds of more new friends, experiences and wherever this nerdy social media life takes me.

Twitter birdHow about you? Are any of you using Twitter? When did you start and can you remember who got you to start? Did you think it was a joke? Do you still think it is a joke? I would love to hear more stories. I loved just these few I was able to get together!

Happy Tweeting!

Oh and if you are upset this post isn’t about Brody, here he is yesterday chillin on the back porch with Chili. Brody has his second chemo treatment on Tuesday and he is a very happy pup all around.

Photo credit: ryan2point0