Being all married up, I am certified to give relationship advice… aren’t I? That is what a lot of people think. Even people I just met will ask me for relationship advice. I don’t mind it, I actually kind of like it. I like people and I like hearing about people’s lives, so it is cool.
Each relationship has it’s own cast of characters, setting, introduction, intricacies and story but in my opinion, when you are looking deep into your relationship to determine if it is going to work – you have a lot in common with a lot of other people. In that inspection, I see a lot of similarities from ‘troubled’ relationship to relationship. I have seen it first hand, second hand and heard it in stories from people I don’t even know.
So as relationship advice goes, I would say these are the big three I dole out:
- Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t – When two people get together, they bring two different histories and personalities together. Too often, one party molds into what they think the other person wants and in-turn they lose a bit of themselves. Acting, after awhile, gets exhausting. Be yourself, hold on to the things you like to do and that will will attract the right person.
- Don’t wait for the other person to change – On the reflection on the last point, be fair and don’t wait for your partner to change. It isn’t fair for you to expect them to change for you. You have to love someone for who they are and not what you think they can be or who you want them to be.
- Don’t be stupid – Listen to your gut or your heart – if something doesn’t feel right, it might not be right. Before you read their texts, emails, follow them after work, hire a PI – STOP! If something is making you feel that icky, you have a reason to feel that way. There is a good chance you are right or you may just be with someone you won’t ever trust and that probably won’t work very well either.
Those are the big three I see the most out in the relationship jungle. If you are there, know millions have been before you and made it to the other side. Those are also places I have been in myself. If you want to hear more about my stories, buy me a glass of wine and I might tell you someday.
I also know that with the end of many relationships, you feel like that is it… and you ruined it by not trying enough, being patient enough, pretty enough etc. etc. That isn’t true and in-time you will recognize that you did the right thing and when you are in the right place you will look back on this relationship as a teaching moment.
I think every single relationship we have (no matter how horrible) teaches us something, even if it is just showing us what we do not want.
Oh and no, I do not think I am some type of relationship expert. I DO think I want people to be happy with themselves and their relationships. Sometimes it takes the advice of a friend, a family member or a complete stranger to let you know it is going to be ok.
Photo credit: dev null
And if you are upset this post isn’t about Brody, here is a picture of him yesterday with a big old grin on his face!