What I Didn’t Expect with Passing My Due Date – Guilt

Late for a very important dateAs I mentioned yesterday, we are about as ready as we can be for this baby to join us… The problem? He missed his due date. As much as you know you can go over your due date and it is just a guess, it is still disheartening when you count down to a specific date and then watch it come and go with no baby.

One thing I didn’t expect with going over my due date is the guilt I feel. Starting about two weeks before the date friends, family, friends of family, friends of friends of friends, people online, are checking in regularly – ‘any news?’ and ‘did you have the baby yet?’

Then as the date gets closer, it amplifies to people telling you when you should have the baby. ‘You should have the baby Wednesday, that is my mom’s birthday’, ‘you should have the baby before the 23rd and then it will be a Libra’, ‘You should have the baby today because I put money in on the pool that you would go today… you don’t want me to lose money do you?!’

So for every morning for the last few weeks, I have a number of people I need to check in with and reply to that I still do not have a baby. Frustrating? Sure but I know it is just because people care and are so excited for us.

The part that is weighing me down is, oddly, guilt. I feel like I am letting all these people down. I am a bit of a control freak and I work really hard to make people happy. This is one situation where there is really nothing I can do to give people what they want. I just have to sit and wait… like everyone else to meet this little baby (who already seems to take after his father more than his mother).

Apparently Raising a Kid is Like Training a Puppy

Otto in the babys roomThe room is ready, the clothes are washed, the baby showers have been had, the baby books have been read, the hospital bags are packed… now we just wait. So we don’t exactly have a baby yet but all signs seem to be pointing to this – raising a baby is very similar to raising a puppy.

We got Otto at the end of May and I am so glad that we did. Trust me plenty of people told me their opinions about getting a puppy while pregnant. I heard I am crazy, I heard I am a glutton for punishment and one nice person who is in my life almost every day, even told me after the baby I would have to give both my dogs away because I wouldn’t be able to handle all of it… people are neat.

I am so, so glad we got Otto. He has been a reason to laugh, a reason to get out an exercise multiple times a day, an exercise in patience and he has been a surprising gateway to some great conversations with my husband about how our life is going to change.

As we prepare for baby and train the puppy – I can’t help but laugh at how similar one sounds to the other.

First, Adam and I were strongly urged to take baby classes at our hospital to prepare for parenthood. We opted to take two of the classes offered. One class I have renamed ‘How not to Kill the Baby’ class. It covered CPR, first-aid, child proofing your home etc. It started with a quiz about how safe your home was. It was a tough quiz, lots of stumpers and trick questions… we aced it! Our secret? Baby proofing is just like puppy proofing. All the way down to wires, crawling around on your floor to see what they see and even storing and cooking things on the back burners of your stove. Man we are going to be so good at this 🙂

Next, a father I know was telling me about the joys of parenthood and then got into the heartache of it too. He said there was no greater pain that when your child is sick or hurting and they can’t tell you how to fix it.

One life lesson I have learned over the years is parents do not like it when you compare their baby stories to your dog stories so I kept my mouth shut but… I think I have some experience with that pain too. A sick puppy is horrible but going through cancer, amputation, chemo and eventually passing with Brody this year… I think I have some experience in heartbreak when your baby can’t tell you what is wrong.

Diaper Bag DispensersLastly, when this raising a kid is like training a puppy theory really solidified for me was when I saw these ‘Diaper Bag Dispensers‘ – Dude… those are dog poop bags! But in more colors and more expensive! What a sham! And yes, my diaper bag will be filled with dog poop bags and not diaper bags dispensers.

So I think we are pretty good down owners… so I expect we are going to ace this baby thing too! As long as Adam doesn’t come home one day and I have the baby in the dog crate and the puppy in the crib… I think we will be ok!

I may eat my words, I may have more proof when the baby decides to come but for now, it is giving me a false sense of hope that we can do this… and that is enough for me! We will keep you posted.