Be a Part of the Memory

I really hate having my picture taken but I really like photos. I just hate being in photos. That is why this recent article from the Huffington Post really got to me.

If you go through the thousands of pictures on my computer, you will find lots of pictures of my wonderful (and good looking) husband, dogs, friends and family plus scenes from my beautiful state but you will rarely see me. I have found it easier to be the picture taker/family photographer than to be the subject of a photo. I smile awkward, I never (never ever) ‘do’ my hair, I move around too much and I just always look strange in photos.

The day after my son was born, my husband’s grandmother went into hospice. She has since left us. This transition of adding one new life and losing another can get you into some strange places in your mind. Life truly is a journey and when I look back on the documented proof of my journey, I want it to look like I was in it. I want our baby to see me. I love this quote from the Huffington Post article:

“When I look at pictures of my own mother, I don’t look at cellulite or hair debacles. I just see her — her kind eyes, her open-mouthed, joyful smile, her familiar clothes. That’s the mother I remember. My mother’s body is the vessel that carries all the memories of my childhood. I always loved that her stomach was soft, her skin freckled, her fingers long. I didn’t care that she didn’t look like a model. She was my mama.”

When I look at pictures of people close to me I do just see ‘them’. You don’t notice their outfit, a blemish on their skin or any imperfections – you just see a picture of them.

So to get off on the right foot when our baby was one week old, we had a wonderful friend, Erin from Erin Kroll Photography, come and do a family photo shoot with us.

I didn’t have time to get my hair cut, I didn’t get any sleep the night before, the shirt I wanted to wear had throw up on it, I am carrying a few extra pounds post baby, I was running late and was actually still getting ready when the Erin came, we never settled on an outfit for the baby to wear, the dogs were hyper and not helpful and I was super anxious the whole time. Know what?!? The photos came out amazing. I absolutely love them and I am sooooo happy that we did this.


Erin was amazing (you should totally hire her). She made it easy for us and comfortable. She has the right eye and tools to make a beautiful product. Professional photographer aside – I am so happy that we have these pictures of all of us to look back on. From here on in, I am going to make more of an effort to be in the photos and a part of each of these memories. I think more of you camera shy people should too!

Three Physical Ailments New Moms Suffer From that No One Warned You About

new momI’m a reader and a studier. If there is something that I don’t know about that interests me or effects me, I look into it. I love how-to books, business books and true stories about humans conquering new things. So when I found out I was pregnant, it will come as no surprise when I tell you that I read up on it – What to Expect, Bringing up Bebe, Eat, Sleep, Poop, Girlfriend’s Guide, Happiest Baby on the Block etc.

Some were good and some were awful but none of them prepared me for three physical ailments that I am suffering from. I thought I would help other new moms and moms-to-be so they can be prepared and know that they are not alone…

  1. Inability to stop rocking – Whether I am holding the baby or not, I cannot stop rocking back and forth. The rocking can be mild to severe and many times you won’t even notice you are doing it. A few ways to see if you are inadvertently rocking is to stand near a mirror, if your reflection is rocking… you probably are too. Keep an ear out for your floor creaking, the audio cue could alert you that you are rocking and be causing the creaking noise. You can also ask for help and tell a friend or loved one about your concern that you are rocking uncontrollably and ask them to point out if they notice your rhythmic swaying.
  2. Constant need to sing about daily mundane activities – I call this Snow White’s Disease. You will feel like a weird-animated princess when you notice that you have been taking your daily tasks and making them into stupid songs. I have made up songs about unloading the dishwasher, folding laundry and of course about changing diapers. My poor child will know the lyrics to ‘Please Don’t Pee on Me While a Change Your Diaper’ while other kids are listening to classical music and lullabies. Poor kid.
  3. Can’t wipe this stupid smile off my face – Maybe the most concerning of all is the muscle spasms in my face that make it so I can’t stop smiling. You body is ripped to shreds, you never sleep, you are still a little tubby from the pregnancy but for some reason you can’t stop smiling. Smiling at absolutely nothing. Concerning right?! This could be a phase.

There you have it – the three physical ailments no one warned me about. I hope this helps more of you out there who feel like you are alone! I have my follow up doctor’s appointment this week and I will be asking them about these. I will update this post if there is a prescription or steps to take to reverse these conditions.