2013 has brought so much to me. It was a volatile year – full of change, laughter, tears, anger, growth and love. I am not alone in feeling the weight of 2013 and many friends of mine are happy to see her go.
One thing 2013 brought was loss. This year I attended more funerals than weddings. Of them, two were probably the hardest hitting deaths I have lived through. This year, heaven collected two new angels too soon. Well… too soon for those of us left behind.
Both of these angels lost their battles to cancer this year (Fuck cancer, right?!). So both knew the road they were travelling on and both had time to prepare. And the rest of us prepared as well as we could, I think.
Kasi was beautiful, smart, had a HUGE heart and an infectious smile. I was lucky to have her as a friend, a confidant and a co-90’s music lover. I had an obsessed dog mom to talk to about our furry ‘children’. I finally had a girly girl at work to talk about clothes and weddings and trashy television programs.
With cancer being what it is, an asshole… I knew Kasi wasn’t here for too much longer and I am so, so, so, so thankful that I got to tell her how much she meant to me before she was taken from us.
AJ was like family. Another uncle keeping an eye on me. It was said so perfectly at his funeral that he lived without judgement. I hope to be more like AJ from now on. AJ would ask you the questions no one else dared to ask. He would eat a full steak dinner for breakfast before a long day. He sported an Igloo cooler better than the finest accessory. He was timeless, consistent, kind, responsible and fun to be around.
With cancer being what it is, a stupid jerk… I got to spend a few ‘last times’ with AJ. Times we all acted the same but knew it was the last time he would be there. I got to help him when he was sick, make him smile when he was in pain and got to just spend time with a remarkable man.
Death is such a heavy thing. Closure is too. I am not going to lie, I still feel like I will run into AJ or Kasi any day. Knowing that they are gone is hard.
So goodbye 2013 and goodbye to the goodbyes you forced upon us.
You mark a tough year.
You took too many.
Goodbye Kasi and goodbye AJ. Be well. You are so missed.