Loved in Spite of Ourselves

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved –
loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”

― Victor Hugo

victor-hugo

I just finished Life Drawing and that was the quote that opened the book. The book was good but NOT if you are looking for a nice little pick me up. You have been warned.

Posted in Life, Quotes, Reading | Leave a comment

Great Social Media Manipulator

…I hate connecting w/ people, which probably explains why I’m such a great social media manipulator….this allows all the touchy/feely of real life connections… minus touching and or actual feeling(s).
Questlove Jenkins

QUESTLOVE

Posted in Life, Music, Nerd, Quotes | 2 Comments

Words Before ‘Momma’

monkey-bars

I tried not to take it personal. Sure I literally grew a human and brought it into this world. Sure, I gave up drinking and sushi and made sure all my cheese was pasteurized for like 9 months… but it’s ok.

After a while it was downright comical… but now… NOW over 630 days later of cleaning puke and bums, carrying a child, sleepless nights, solo nights while Adam is away for school, bananas smashed into my new dress… we FINALLY have it… ‘MOMMA’!

We just about wore the word out in its first weekend in our existence.

And for even more comic relief, here is the list of words that came before, many much before ‘momma’:

  • Trucks (obviously)
  • Dadda
  • Otto (dog #1)
  • Chili (dog #2)
  • Jeep
  • Dump Truck
  • BIG Truck
  • Airplane
  • Boots
  • Boat
  • Blue truck
  • Helicopter (or copTAH)
  • Dog and woof
  • Cow and Moo
  • Cat and Meow (a really good meow too)
  • Elephant
  • Chicken and cluck, cluck
  • Duck and quack, quack
  • Trees
  • Roar
  • Outside
  • Car
  • Puddle
  • No
  • Mine
  • My turn
  • Bottle
  • More
  • Pooh and Tigger
  • Up
  • Binky
  • Uh-oh

You get the picture… it was a lot. Momma seems to be here to stay, we practiced over 630 times this weekend, and I couldn’t be happier. Man, that kid sure knows how to build up anticipation.

Posted in Raising Humans | 1 Comment

Greenwich Concours d ‘ Wha?!

instacar
I definitely wouldn’t say I am a ‘car person’. I like cars. I respect them. I like that they can get me from here to there. I even think some are beautiful. I know there is history and design behind every car on the road.

My husband is a car person. I have lots of friends that are car people. My son can say ‘car’ clear as a bell, even though he doesn’t say ‘mama’ yet (ouch). And, this weekend… I was at a wedding and I would say 95% of the guests were car people.

So much so, that our hotel was directly across from the Greenwich Concours d ‘ Elegance… and as guests of the wedding, we were given tickets to walk the show.

Much to my husband’s dismay, I saw lots of pretty cars… some green ones… some blue ones… and a lot of red ones. Makes, models, years… I got nothin’. But I know the big names were there – Jaguar, Ferrari, Aston Martin (we were there on the day of the European cars).

As I walked around this show, and took a few pictures, I couldn’t help but think… ‘what the hell am I doing at the Greenwich Concours…’ I am still not sure how I got there but I do know I got these pictures. Vroom vroom!

green-car
red-car
light-blue-car
green-picnic-car
barn-car

Posted in Life | 2 Comments

Music Will Fix It

My brain has been very busy, spinning about big things and little things.
So life goes though, right?

ryan-montbleau

Last night we went out to catch a really great semi-local musician, Ryan Montbleau, at One Longfellow. I have seen him a few times before and I think I love seeing him more each time.

I could say a lot about it, but I am going to opt to say just a little…
If you have a busy brain or a damaged heart or an ache to feel all the feelings or the desire to shake everything your momma’ gave you, don’t forget what live music can do to you. Music will fix it.

If you need to feel all of the feelings, I recommend this Fast Car cover from Ryan and his opening act from last night, Tall Heights. Feelings were splattered all over the floor at One Longfellow last night when they played this. I felt bad for whoever had to sweep all those up at the end of the night!

Posted in Life, Music | Leave a comment

Some Days I Don’t Like Living on an Island…

Some days I don’t like living on an island.

But then… I sit on the ferry for 20 minutes and read, or talk to another islander or I just talk to Otto or… I stare off into space.

Then when I get off the boat and look back at Portland twinkling away on the other side of the bay… I don’t mind living on an island quite as much.

Image

Posted in Island Life, Maine | Leave a comment

Saying Goodbye to 2013 and Two Amazing People

2013 has brought so much to me. It was a volatile year – full of change, laughter, tears, anger, growth and love. I am not alone in feeling the weight of 2013 and many friends of mine are happy to see her go.

One thing 2013 brought was loss. This year I attended more funerals than weddings. Of them, two were probably the hardest hitting deaths I have lived through. This year, heaven collected two new angels too soon. Well… too soon for those of us left behind.

Both of these angels lost their battles to cancer this year (Fuck cancer, right?!). So both knew the road they were travelling on and both had time to prepare. And the rest of us prepared as well as we could, I think.

Kasi was beautiful, smart, had a HUGE heart and an infectious smile. I was lucky to have her as a friend, a confidant and a co-90’s music lover. I had an obsessed dog mom to talk to about our furry ‘children’. I finally had a girly girl at work to talk about clothes and weddings and trashy television programs.

With cancer being what it is, an asshole… I knew Kasi wasn’t here for too much longer and I am so, so, so, so thankful that I got to tell her how much she meant to me before she was taken from us.

AJ was like family. Another uncle keeping an eye on me. It was said so perfectly at his funeral that he lived without judgement. I hope to be more like AJ from now on. AJ would ask you the questions no one else dared to ask. He would eat a full steak dinner for breakfast before a long day. He sported an Igloo cooler better than the finest accessory. He was timeless, consistent, kind, responsible and fun to be around.

With cancer being what it is, a stupid jerk… I got to spend a few ‘last times’ with AJ. Times we all acted the same but knew it was the last time he would be there. I got to help him when he was sick, make him smile when he was in pain and got to just spend time with a remarkable man.

Death is such a heavy thing. Closure is too. I am not going to lie, I still feel like I will run into AJ or Kasi any day. Knowing that they are gone is hard.

Kasi-BWAJ-BW

So goodbye 2013 and goodbye to the goodbyes you forced upon us.
You mark a tough year.
You took too many.
Goodbye Kasi and goodbye AJ. Be well. You are so missed.

Posted in Life | 4 Comments